God sat among the voids and the things, settled himself, focused, and tried, or tried not to try.
“Let there be light,” he said.
Nothing happened. God let out a slow radiation of electromagnetic breath, then turned back to his universe, trying to hide his face.
“You need to let there be light,” said F00%$ “You’re trying to make there be light. You’re saying ‘let’ with your words, but you’re saying ‘make’ with your actions. Understand?”
“I’m fucking omniscient,” said God, “of course I fucking understand! That doesn’t mean I actually know what I’m doing.”
“You’re making this more complicated than it has to be,” said F00%S. “Don’t even worry. Just let there be light. Like this. Let there be light!”
The universe in front of F00%S shown with the bright glare of all of existence. He looked it over, pleased, and stacked it on a shelf.
“Let there be light,” said God. Nothing happened. He screamed and threw a spare firmament spinning into the void.
“Patience, patience,” said F00%$. “You’re forcing it.”
“Well, yeah” said God. “How can I not force it? If I don’t force it, nothing happens. And let me remind you, I am an unstoppable force.”
“The only force that can stop you,” said F00%$ “is yourself.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” said God. “I’m sorry. Thanks for your help. I can’t do this.”
“You just need to believe in yourself” said F00%$. “Have faith.”
“I’m sorry,” said God, “You’re very wise and well-intentioned, but this too damn frustrating.”
God went over to the making range and played with some of the realities they had set up there. He leveled a few mountains, drew a few oceans up into the clouds and dropped them down again, made several species in his image and others. He made some in the image of o0o_c^T^H^, his crush, and he made one in the image of F00%$, but with comically giant, stupid-looking faces, and then he made a few fantastical creatures, like one that had a fire on its back that would never be extinguished even in the water, and one that flew by spinning around so fast it lifted itself into the air. He assured himself he was a powerful and creative God. Then he made a heaven, smited all his creatures, and rested.
In his dreams he saw himself on a void, much like the one he inhabited, but with a gray path through the darkness, constantly moving. He stepped aboard the path and felt himself move. oOo_c^T^H^ was walking up behind him. She raised her hands and there was a flash of light above her, another universe created. God raised his own arms. “Let there be light,” he said, and there was light. The light spun into nebulae, galaxies, planets. He flew through the universe, being everywhere at once but some places more than others, gesturing at planets and imbuing them instantly with abundant life, whole ecosystems, cultures, societies. He popped out of the universe and back into the void, and the light kept creating itself, again and again. He was surrounded by universes. oOo_c^T^H^ stood beside him and he felt their beings merge.
Then he woke up. The void was cold and vast, and the points of light he saw flashing into existence were far, far away. He couldn’t make out any of the entities. He ran to catch up, saw that they were receding faster than he could cover. He wondered how long he had rested. F00%S must have moved on, figured God had grown sick of him, or perhaps he’d grown sick of God. oOo_c^T^H^ had always been kind, had seen some spark in God, he thought, but she had great things to do and he was only a small part of her life.
He could wait until other beings came around again, whenever that happened. It always would, in the span of eternity. He had no reason to doubt that.
But until then the waiting would drive him mad. “Let there be light,” he said. Nothing. Not even an afterimage of a spark. “Let there be light.” “Let there be light.”
The time was long and lonely. God tried and ceased trying, pondered, replayed conversations in his head, imagined what he would create once the world was intact. He had ideas for landscapes, plant life, microorganisms.
“Let there be light,” he said. And there was light.
It was a shitty little universe, uneven and unstable and ugly. But he built his firmaments, he built his animals, and he made a few in his image. It was all fucked. But there was nobody around anywhere in the void to see his embarrassment.
“Fuck it,” he said. “Eh.” He saw no reason to start over or chase perfection. He might not be able to do it again.
And so he ruled over the universe.